I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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