My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
