We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
