I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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