all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
