Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
