I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
