I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
