I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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