the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
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the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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