her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
