I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
