I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize