we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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