I think i peed on brittanys purse
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
