oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She bit a glass in half.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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