remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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