Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
