I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
