i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
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We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
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then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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