it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
