I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
