You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
