Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
