He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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