I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
