Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
