I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
