Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
