I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
