Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
