Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
