I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize