Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken