I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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