maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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