It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
