this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
bring money and cleavage
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
