Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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