yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
