hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
