Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
