omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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