Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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