So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Operation Purity has been aborted
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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