; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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