This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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