I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
