Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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