don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
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You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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