as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the day after is always just damage control
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
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She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
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Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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