hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize