ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
