Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize